Hello, My name is Carl and I was a Hospital Corpsman with the USMC for 6 years, deploying in support of OIF from August 2006 to March of 2007. During my deployment I lost 117 Soldiers, Marines, and Airmen, most of them passing in my arms. I wouldn't allow myself to grieve, keeping everything I had bottled up for a long time, which I couldn't take anymore shortly after returning to the states. I was anxious, paranoid, violent, and ostracized everyone I ever cared about away from me. 5 years later, the symptoms are starting to get worse and I see myself sliding back to where I was before. I am currently waiting for my VA appointment to continue my therapy, but am looking forward to the opportunity to talk with fellow Veterans that are going and have gone through the same things I am dealing with today.